Lyrically Speaking-VII

“A best friend is one you can do embarrassing things in front of with confidence.” -Ccep J. Dew I was thinking about one of my best friends today. Before I moved here to California, we spent about two months hanging out every week and not one of those days did I feel uncomfortable. From day one to today, I have always felt like myself around Mary. It’s refreshing to feel that way about another person, especially in this day when unhealthy rivalry is so present amongst female friends especially. Mary’s not my only best friend, of course. My husband is my “bestest friend in the whole wide world” and of course there’s my mother and my big sister—plus a few others who are more than friends, but kind of less than best friends—but, the thing I love about my friendship with Mary is that not once have I felt jealous of her and not once has she shown any jealousy towards me. We are beautiful, intelligent, blessed, and gifted young ladies and instead of wanting to one-up one another, we celebrate each other and do what we can to help the other excel. For example, Mary is reading over one of my novels that is no where near the finished perfection I want it to be. But, I trust her with it and I respect her feedback, which is usually along the lines of “You go, girl!” And when she needed a name for her massage practice, I suggested “A Muse’s Touch”, which she eventually chose to use. In my 21 years on this earth, I have had “best friends” come and go, and I can honestly say that Mary is one of the only ones I have ever felt this way about. I don’t have to be better than her. I don’t have to brag to her. I don’t have to downplay her accomplishments to make mine seem bigger. I can be equal to her and I am and wherever life takes me, she can rest assured that I will be buying an extra ticket for her to come with. I never really understood those “sister-friend” movies like Waiting To Exhale until now. In the past, my sister-friends always had to be more than me. They always made it clear that we were friends, as long as I knew my place was second, and I can admit, I’ve done the same with some of my friends. But, I think that’s how you know that particular relationship is seasonal. When you are in need of an ear to listen, and your friend doesn’t answer, and you don’t get mad that they aren’t there at that exact moment… that is true friendship. When your friend gets a great promotion while you are struggling with two jobs and you are genuinely happy for them… that is true friendship. When you can dance like Elaine from Seinfeld and not care that people are staring, while she does the Funky Chicken next to you before breaking out into the Running Man… that is true friendship. There are a few other people I can think of that I can be a total dork around and not care. When I do relax and act like the bookworm nerd that I truly am, they don’t make snide comments, call me names, or anything like that. Usually, they are acting just as dorky, if not more. And I’m grateful to have these people in my life. They make each day a little bit easier. So, I challenge you to reevaluate your friendships. Are you in a competition? Do you often assure yourself that you’re prettier, smarter, or more athletic than your friends? If so, then you should realize that you are feeling insecure and a real friendship shouldn’t make you feel less than, whether the person says things to make you feel bad or if it’s just in your mind. Surround yourself with people who encourage you to sing at the top of your lungs in your best Christina Aguilera voice, knowing full-well that you are no Christina Aguilera. I mean it! Hold onto people who make you smile within and make you want to be the dorkiest you that you can possibly be. My hubby not only encourages me to sing “And I Am Telling You” karaoke-style in our living room, but he joins in for some songs. That’s bestest friendship. That’s true love ***Lyrically Speaking-VII Written by: Ccep J. Dew, West Coast Editor as published in eXcape the matriX magazine www.eXcapethematriX.com