Lyrically Speaking-X

“Turn the lights out… this shit’s way too fucking bright… why not poke my eyes out… if you wanna mess with my eyesight?… just let me get my head right… where the hell am I?... who are you?... what'd we do… last night?...” –Britney Spears, “Blur”, Circus For the past couple of weeks, I have attempted to write this 10th edition of “Lyrically Speaking”. My cup runneth over with lyrics—as the quotes painted on my home-office’s walls display—but none of them seemed to be worth discussing. I wasn’t inspired. Twice, I sat down and scribbled out bullshit about clever minds and coincidences and something else that is not even worth remembering. I knew what I had written lacked substance and I was embarrassed to submit it; so, I didn’t. Instead, I secretly grew more and more aware that this could be the first month that I had nothing lyrically to speak about. Then, I bought Britney Spears’ newest album. Before you begin to go down the list of drama surrounding the starlet, I urge you to give the album a try. A few songs, for me, are definite misses, but some like “If You Seek Amy”—which a friend’s hubby pointed out sounds awfully close to a two-word expletive phrase—are simply intoxicating whether we want to admit it or not. I’ve been listening to “Blur” in a trance-like repetition for the last two days. Slowly, I’m leaning into “Unusual You”, but something about “Blur” just makes me want to dance. Aside from random Hip-Hop classes, I haven’t really danced since I choreographer and performed to John Legend’s “So High” at my sister’s wedding 4 years ago. I haven’t had much time to dance lately or do any of the things that kept me from becoming a “grown up”. My recent 22nd birthday was a hard thing for me to come to grips with, even though my mother had again faced her fear of flying to visit us from Baltimore and my husband had wrangled up all his friends to meet us at The Cheesecake Factory when all but one of my friends here in Cali had “other plans”. That day, I felt like my childhood was coming to an end because I wasn’t making time for the kid in me. I felt like I’d been living a 27 year-old’s life for so long… what possibly could 22 bring? “Can't remember what I did last night… maybe I shouldn't have given in, but I just couldn't fight… hope I didn't but I think I might've… everything… everything is still a blur…” I will dance again. And I will come to work on a Saturday to finally give into the seductive tree that has been calling out, “Nisey, come climb me and read under the shade of my leaves,” every day as I set out on my 20 minute drive home. See, we tend to take these small things for granted because our high heels, ties, and big boys’ and girls’ pants tell us to trade in our toys for board meetings and beer. Fuck that… “I don’t wanna grow up… I’m a Toys"R"Us kid...” and I will never get rid of my stuffed Tiggers and Barbies… Neither should you. Take time out to do things for the kid in you. Buy an ice cream cone… go skating… skip rocks across a pond… have a sleepover with your best girlfriends… What were your favorite things to do as a kid? Do them! Don’t let this world suck the joy from your life. All work and no play leaves your vision blurred…

***Lyrically Speaking-X Written by: Ccep J. Dew, West Coast Editor as published in eXcape the matriX magazine www.eXcapethematriX.com